Holiday FOMO: Understanding Its Impact on Mental Health

Many of us have looked through social media after a long, perhaps mundane day and seen loads of great pictures or videos of others’ amazing holidays. Maybe it’s a relative who posted a family photo during a holiday party or a friend who went on an exciting vacation. Regardless of who it is, what we end up seeing is the amazing time they’re having and how happy everyone looks, while we feel left out.

This is a normal experience that can happen to anyone. However, for some people, holiday FOMO frequently makes them feel as though life is happening somewhere else and they missed the invitation.

To better understand why this happens, this blog explores what FOMO is, what causes it, and how you can help someone manage it without it disrupting their mental well-being.

What Is FOMO?

FOMO is the fear of missing out. It was a term introduced in 2004 to describe the anxiety or unease people feel when others seem to be having enjoyable, rewarding experiences without them. Researchers also describe FOMO as a desire to remain continually connected with what others are doing.^[1]

For some people, the fear of missing out is less about wanting to attend every event and more about belonging. Being invited to places and events can feel like proof that they belong, even if they would rather stay home.

When FOMO is explained this way, it may become easier to see that distress often comes from what the missed experience seems to represent. It’s not just about missing out on the activity itself.

Understanding the Psychology of FOMO

The psychology of FOMO is connected to basic human needs for belonging, acceptance, and connection.^[2]

Here are some of the major psychological causes of FOMO:

Social Comparison

People have a natural tendency to compare themselves to others, as it gives them a foundation for understanding how they’re doing, which is the basis of social comparison theory.^[3] Social media gives everyone more opportunities to make these comparisons, but the information we get from those platforms is incomplete.

For example, someone might compare their entire holiday with pictures of another person’s best ten moments. They see the matching pajamas, the laughing guests, and the fun party games, not the stress and arguments that happened before or after.

Belonging and Rejection

Someone may experience a fear of missing out not because they’re missing out on the activity, but because they fear rejection. If they weren’t invited to something, they might start to think that people don’t value them or they don’t belong.

This interpretation can feel especially convincing for people who have experienced rejection, abandonment, bullying, or unstable relationships in the past. A simple scheduling decision may begin to feel like a statement about their worth.

Perceived Scarcity and Anticipated Regret

Seeing something as scarce is one of the big drivers of FOMO. When someone perceives that something is going to be limited, exclusive, or “once-in-a-lifetime,” this exclusivity increases the pressure to participate or risk regret.^[4] In other words, limited opportunities often seem more valuable.

FOMO Bias

Someone might also experience a fear of missing out because of FOMO bias, which is when they overestimate the value of the experience they’re missing. For instance, when they look at videos of everyone else having fun, the event might seem so exciting. But what they’re not seeing is the hosting stress, awkward conversations, financial expenses, or the exhaustion involved in these events.

In the same way, FOMO bias can make someone underestimate the value of their own experiences or decisions. If they decide to spend the holiday simply having a nice, low-key dinner with their spouse, the FOMO might make this event seem boring in comparison.

How to Help Someone Manage Holiday FOMO

The goal of managing holiday FOMO isn’t to try to attend every gathering or delete every social media account. Instead, you can help someone learn to make choices that reflect what matters to them and their values. Here are some ways to do that:

Help Them Decide How They Want the Holiday to Feel

To start, help the person emotionally connect to what they authentically want a holiday to feel like. Before they fill in their calendar, encourage them to choose two or three qualities they want their holiday to include. For instance, they might value:

• Connection.
• Rest.
• Generosity.
• Spirituality.
• Simplicity.
• Fun.

These values can act as a filter through which they can pick activities that matter to them, such as planning a quiet dinner that supports connection rather than attending three crowded events in one weekend.

Ask Them What They Believe They’re Missing

When FOMO appears, encourage them to pause before reacting. Guide them to question what they believe the event seems to represent.

Are they afraid of missing the party, or do they fear their friends will become closer without them? Do they want the expensive vacation, or do they need a break from work? Are they envious of the family photo, or are they grieving the closeness they wish their family had?

Naming the deeper need can help the person respond to it more directly.

Encourage Them to Allow the Holiday to Be “Good Enough”

A meaningful holiday doesn’t have to be “magical”, and it’s likely never going to be “perfect.” So encourage them to allow it to be “good enough.”

Meals can be simple, people can argue, children can get cranky, and decorations don’t have to match. Trying to create a perfect experience often makes it harder to pay attention to the actual moments of joy and connection.

Guide Them in Making One or Two Intentional Plans

Rather than waiting to see what everyone else is doing, guide them in creating plans that fit their energy, interests, and budget. For instance, they might enjoy:

• Cooking with a friend.
• Taking a walk to see decorations.
• Calling someone they miss.
• Watching a familiar movie.
• Volunteering.
• Making a meal they enjoy.

A small plan can create connection without turning the entire season into a performance.

Let Them Know It’s OK to Feel Disappointed

The person doesn’t need to talk themselves out of every difficult emotion. Let them know it’s normal to feel hurt when they’re excluded or sad when circumstances prevent them from participating – we all experience this. Encourage them to acknowledge the feeling without turning it into a judgment about themselves.

Find Guidance and Support for Holiday Stress

At AMFM Healthcare, we understand that the holidays can bring up complicated feelings. Maybe someone is surrounded by the pressure to feel cheerful while they’re privately dealing with anxiety, grief, or family conflict.

Our outpatient mental health programs at Mission Connection provide people with support when they’re dealing with holiday FOMO, anxiety, stress, or something more.

We use personalized evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), alongside holistic approaches like mindfulness.

This comprehensive approach helps people identify and manage the thoughts and feelings around holiday FOMO and find ways of responding that support their well-being.

If you’re supporting someone with a fear of missing out and would like more information on how to do so, contact us at 844-690-0205. Our team can guide you in helping them build a life that feels more grounded and connected to their values.

Holiday FOMO FAQ

We know that holiday FOMO can be confusing, so many people have questions about what causes FOMO. The answers below may help address some of the most common concerns.